skellaxinscruples: (doot!zooted skull party)
 Blah. I had written out this whole entry, but now it is gone. 

-He gets defensive when I ask what he wants to do with his life. I feel pity. I have never felt that was such a threatening question.
-I work a lot and it's never enough. 
-Cam work is hard, feeling commodified directly is hard. 
-I would feel better if I could receive affection from the one I love, who loves me for real, as opposed to this objectification.
-I am glad to be on non-smuggled birth control.
-Sometimes I just lay in bed and let my brain run autopilot, soaking in every thought and letting it breeze through and I think about things like the construction of corsets and seasonal changes and fish and science fiction.
-I need to set up my desktop again so I can play Gauntlet and other vidya. 
-Madeleine said she didn't express her appreciation for me enough. Then she did 1.3 mg of acid and it was good for her. 
-Plan to move to Oakland has changed. November 2015 is the target date now. Lucas will finish his degree program then, and Li-Chi's dad will get SSI and be able to pay the mortgage alone. Li-Chi works too much. 10 hour days. Consecutively. 
-I am paying off debts, but that means I'm broke, but I guess my net worth is increasing. Weird. 

Date: 2014-10-20 02:53 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] kehleyr
kehleyr: (Default)

Date: 2014-10-24 01:33 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] helvetica
helvetica: trucy (Default)
I, personally, have felt threatened by that question sometimes. And it's not that I'm upset with the person asking it, but that I'm frustrated with myself for not having a clear answer to it. I find that I get sensitive to it if I'm ever asked repeatedly in a short period of time (Example: Visiting a lot of family at Christmas, all asking me my life goals). I can't imagine he's upset at you in any way, just overwhelmed by the exhausting variety of life.

I hope things are good! They seem kind of up and down so it's hard to get your overall mood <3


skellaxinscruples: (Default)

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