Oct. 19th, 2014

skellaxinscruples: (doot!zooted skull party)
 Blah. I had written out this whole entry, but now it is gone. 

-He gets defensive when I ask what he wants to do with his life. I feel pity. I have never felt that was such a threatening question.
-I work a lot and it's never enough. 
-Cam work is hard, feeling commodified directly is hard. 
-I would feel better if I could receive affection from the one I love, who loves me for real, as opposed to this objectification.
-I am glad to be on non-smuggled birth control.
-Sometimes I just lay in bed and let my brain run autopilot, soaking in every thought and letting it breeze through and I think about things like the construction of corsets and seasonal changes and fish and science fiction.
-I need to set up my desktop again so I can play Gauntlet and other vidya. 
-Madeleine said she didn't express her appreciation for me enough. Then she did 1.3 mg of acid and it was good for her. 
-Plan to move to Oakland has changed. November 2015 is the target date now. Lucas will finish his degree program then, and Li-Chi's dad will get SSI and be able to pay the mortgage alone. Li-Chi works too much. 10 hour days. Consecutively. 
-I am paying off debts, but that means I'm broke, but I guess my net worth is increasing. Weird. 


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